Thursday, January 03, 2013


Off to the city, then another city, then another country. Eighteen days left to change plans.

Feeling more confident about the move to Canada, but the idea of disappearing into the forest still rears its head every so often. Or at least staying in Asia. Life is always so uncertain...

I think the real uncertainty stems from the fact that there is no real support in Canada as far as an experienced Buddhist meditation community. Being picked up at the airport by people I've never met (who are granted incredibly supportive, as far as I can tell) to depend on their support for keeping me off the streets of Toronto... and we already know how alms in Toronto goes from last year (it doesn't). I shy away from explaining the details of my planned residence to people here after getting some fairly concerned expressions from those I have. Even if we do acquire a house (and that's still a big if), then what? Life in a house, I suppose. Not so bad, but still nothing like the forest.

The benefits are reassuring, though, so let's go through them again... freedom from pesky things like visas and government regulated monasticism, a culture and society that makes sense and sees me as a member - albeit a strange one, and infrastructure that allows international organization and activity. And it doesn't hurt to remind oneself of things like the absence of oppressive heat (got some wool cloth to make a nice sangati for the cold) and generally healthy food (assuming people want me alive enough to feed me).

I guess the best I can say is it will be interesting. If I don't disappear in the next eighteen days, that is...


  1. Don't disappear! We're anxious to have you appear closer to us. :) I hope you have a good journey "home".

  2. Change = scary, but hey, you'll be okay. No more weird diseases to catch, right?

  3. cindy ravenmoon7:47 PM

    I will be thinking of you in the days ahead, and I live in Minnesota if you need anything I'm not that far away. I could probably send it to you. Please be safe, and let us know that you made it.

  4. Nagybanya4:36 PM

    Dear Yuttadhammo!
    As much as I (and many more) appreciate and utilise your help, I would be happy for you to do whatever is best for your and your own spiritual growth.
    I am sure that the people who are going to pick you up in Canada have nothing but good intentions.
    Should you decide to "disappear in the forest", I would still believe that you would
    come out of it at some point, and we would hear from you.
    Blessings and all the best wishes, N.B.