Saturday, March 31, 2007

I'm a Travellin' Monk

Yep, time for another travel update. The airport in Rochester, much the same as the airport in LA, only this time my robe fell under suspicion, too.

Checking in my bag:

Any weapons in there?

(Laughing): No!

(Smiles apologetically): Okay, you're all set.

Through the security check:

Okay, lane six, please. (Lane six is conspicuously unlike the other five lanes, which actually are one lane with five end-points and ordinary, old-school security machines. Lane six has this futuristic thing that blows air on you, and as much security as the other five lanes together. Must be us Canadians...)

Can you take of the outermost garment?

Well, it's really all that I'm wearing...

Would you like a private screening or something?

Yes, please.

Supervisor to lane 6, please!

(The supervisor, a woman) Okay, we'll just look through your bags, and then give you a private screening.

Okay, but can it be a man for the private screening?

Oh, of course. It appears you've got some prohibited items in here.

(Remembering... a two inch leatherman imitation with a one-inch fold up knife in it. D-oh.) Yes, I forgot.

Okay, I'm gonna make this a "full".

I'm sorry.

They let me take the two weapons (there was another, even smaller leatherman-type thing my mother gave me) out, get my check-in luggage back and slip them into it, but not before giving me a two-man private screening; intimate, to say the least.
Back to the check-in guy:

Didn't I just see you?

Yeah, I had to get my bag back.

Any weapons in there? (D-oh...)

Well, two small leatherman with knives on them.

(reluctantly) Okaaay...

And then back to the intimate screening stuff. More air blowing, shoes off, show me your feet, etc.

And I 'm through. Good thing I came early, still an hour before take-off. It's no bother, though, all this. It only leads to good vibes all around - they're more stressed out than I, and if I'm calm, they get a good impression of the homeless life; a taste of something new.

Update: plane is late. Let's see if I can make the 30 transfer in Cincinnati... upside? Free wireless in the airport, so I can post to my weblog about it. Yay.